Fertility

Here I am again starting fertility.  I guess that means there will be a lot more blogs because sometimes the only thing that helps me is to get my feelings out.  They say you shouldn't keep things bottled up inside so I guess I'm just following that advice.

You may or may not know but in order for Mike and I to start a family we had to go through fertility.  It was by far one of the hardest things I've ever been through in my life.  Yes, the end result was worth it all but that doesn't make the journey any less painful.  I will say that when I was pregnant with Elliott the hurt from the fertility mostly subsided and wasn't a constant thought but when I look back on it......man oh man!

Here I am today, sort of celebrating that it's my 10th and final day of taking Progesterone.  It's a lovely *eyeroll* medicine that will make me have a period.  I looked up the side effects and it's a viscous, viscous medicine.

Medroxyprogesterone may cause side effects. Tell your doctor if any of these symptoms are severe or do not go away:

• breasts that are tender or produce a liquid (nope)
• changes in menstrual flow (nope)
• irregular vaginal bleeding or spotting (nope)
• acne (one or two pimples)
• growth of hair on face (haven't had to shave yet)
• loss of hair on scalp (not missing any big chunks)
• difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep (this one hit me hard)
• drowsiness (figured this was because of the last one)
• upset stomach (attributed this to the last two)
• weight gain or loss (blamed the cookies for this one)
  
  
  The last three are my favorites and the ones that I have the most......
  
  • Depression
  • Mood Swings
  • Confusion; inability to concentrate or think straight 

I remember this medicine but it seems so much worse this time.  I hate this medicine.  
Hate
HATE
H! A! T! E! 
this medicine and the way it makes me feel.  


I guess you can say "you've been warned".  I know that while I'm swinging from one mood to another, with an occasional stop at another mood that it's difficult.  I hate to blame the medicine but, it is, in fact, the medicine.


My plan is to do a cycle and be pregnant.  Seems simple enough.  One round of meds and then be done with it.  Think I can pull that off?  I hope so but I'm not holding my breath.  So many people told me that when women with fertility issues had a baby that most likely they were able to conceive again without any help.  Well, without any help from medical professionals, she obviously needed her significant other or at least a "designated hitter".  :)  I, however, was not that lucky.  


As I started to type that luck never seems to be on my side I had to stop typing because there was a little man at a toy box asking for help (because he was too short to reach the toy he wanted) and he was yelling "Mama, Mama, MAMA" and when I went over to help him he gave me a kiss and a big hug.


So, as I sit here crying because he warms my heart and soul just know that I got the subtle reminder that while this tough on me in all ways but mostly emotionally that IT IS WORTH IT!  I love being a Mom! 

My Exciting Party!

I originally posted this blog on April 27, 2008.  I'm sharing now and on blogger.com to share the funnies with my friends.  Jenn, I hope you enjoy!!  :)

My exciting party

As most of you know I do In-Home parties.  You never know what sort of party you're going to have.  A room full of drunk women who don't care what you're doing, women who are saving their money for the stripper that will be there later, etc etc.  I've had a few parties that have made me cry on the way home, I've had some fantastic parties that made me want to shout from my rooftop what I do, but last night was a first for me.

I did a party about an hour from my house.  All the way to the party I'm thinking about all the fabulous stuff I learned at Convention.  I'm quite proud of the Hostess Coaching with my hostess and am well prepared to have an awesome party!!

I walk in, everyone is there and ready to go.  I start to set up, pass out folders and we're laughing and having fun.  These are beer drinking women!  Down to earth, fun loving women.  We're laughing a ton.

We did the bath and body stuff and we're getting ready to move on.  Before I started with my toys, I passed around my books and told them to take a smoke break and we'd return in 5 minutes.  While most are outside smoking I was inside chatting up the 3 women that were eating and looking at my books.

I start to notice the decor of the house and while I hadn't been able to put my finger on it, I realize that it looks like I walked into HALLOWEEN!  Fake spiders all over the coffee table and throws over the curtains and furniture that are handmade afghans but they look like cobwebs.  I asked one of the women sitting there why it looked like Halloween.  She laughed and said "Oh, she didn't tell you?"

Suddenly I was nervous.  Had I not done enough Hostess Coaching?  Was there something that I missed?  OMG What did I forget?  My mind was racing!  Then the guest said "They love spiders.  Well, he loves spiders and she just tolerates it."  *whew*  Panic diverted.  No biggie!  They decorate with plastic spiders.  Then the guest went on........
They have 6 tarantulas!

I froze.

Did I mention I don't like critters?  If it's an animal and you can't pet it, then I'm not interested.

Ok, where are they?  Am I close to them?  Dear God, I hope these people are sane enough to CAGE the tarantulas!  I mustered up my courage to ask WHERE they kept them.  My voice sounded like I held a toy on my throat when I spoke.

Now, keep in mind, the room is filling back up.  I'm now suddenly the center of attention as each woman watches for my reaction.  I'm the last one to know.  They've all been in my shoes.  Oh yes, we're having big fun now.

I ask where they're kept.  She says "Oh, they have their own room, one of the bedrooms."

THANK GOD!

I'm a little worse for wear, but let's move on.

***Fast Forward to the Ordering Room***

My Hostess says "You have to use this room here. But, since the spiders are in there a couple of the women won't come in to place their orders.  You don't mind though right?  You're cool no?"

How could I say No?  Where was I going to do the orders, the front yard??  I went in with her and said, well, this is a first for me.  Walked right past them and yes, they were all caged! *big sigh* Ok, I told myself 'be quick like a bunny, get in and get out; be quick like a bunny, get in and get out'!!!

My bag fell on my leg and I thought I wet my pants.  Nope, false alarm but I'd better use the restroom, just in case.  The guests come in and they're standing between me and the spiders.  Then one of the guests was standing there talking to another guest and they're discussing the spiders and the room and she suddenly screams "OH MY GOD".

I almost jumped out the window!